This morning I met one of our agents bright and early for an all-day tour of one of our counties. I jumped in his car and we set off. He was borrowing this car from a friend because his vehicle had been totaled. The friend had left a stray unwrapped candy in the car for a few days and dear readers, the car was overrun by ants. On the passenger side. Where I was sitting. You can tell by reading this blog that I am very professional (just go with it, okay), so at first I tried to hide my horror and used napkins to capture and kill the ants that were popping out of the console and dashboard. I could just imagine that they were getting in my purse, in my hair, on my clothes, but I tried to be very blasé-pioneer-woman about it. Until I saw one on my seat. I couldn’t kill it fast enough and I squealed. The agent, who was sitting on the ant-free side of the car thought my reaction was completely disproportionate to the threat, but very funny. I’m glad someone was enjoying himself.
Later that day, we were touring through a subdivision of houses that looked inviting from the outside, but were disasters inside. One house had chewed up carpets, an abandoned mirrored wet bar, a poker room and big piles of rat droppings everywhere. The little girl’s room (all pink with animal stickers on the wall) was covered in the tell-tale pellet.The kitchen counter was barely visible. I was paralyzed expecting giant rats with red eyes carrying bubonic plague fleas to burst forth and feast on my trembling limbs.It didn’t happen. But it could have.
The second to last house we went in was infested with biting gnats which did feast on my arms, face and hands. The walls and carpets were so caked in mold that I ran out of the house nauseous and gasping for air. I was immediately accused of being pregnant instead simply being worn down by the events of the day. By the end of the day, I was sick, itchy, and suffering from delusions of ants crawling all over me. I wonder if I can get worker’s comp.
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